75+ Spider Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches (Not Webs!)

What did the spider say when he got a job on the web? “Finally, a place I can stick around!” 🕸️

Let’s face it — spiders might not be everyone’s favorite creepy crawly, but when it comes to spinning laughs, they’re eight-legged comedy gold. Whether you’re an arachnophile, a Spidey fan, or just someone who web-lieves in good humor, this article is your sticky stop for the funniest spider puns, cute spider sayings, and hilarious web jokes that’ll have you dangling with laughter.

So, sit back, grab a snack (just not flies), and let’s dive into a silk-smooth tangle of spider puns you’ll love to crawl back to!

The Ultimate List of Spider Puns

Classic Spider Puns That Stick

These spider puns are classics — clean, clever, and perfect for any pun-lover!

I’m feeling a bit web-pressed today.
Let’s spin some fun!
That spider really webbed its way into my heart.
Don’t bug me — I’m hanging out!
You give me spider-butterflies!
Just trying to string along…
That’s my web of lies.
Don’t be a webhead — share the jokes!

Funny Spider Sayings for Every Occasion

Here are some hilarious and funny spider sayings you can use in captions, cards, or just for creepy giggles:

“I spin, therefore I am.”
“No web too tangled, no bug too crunchy.”
“Fear me — I have eight legs and zero chill.”
“Living my best eight-legged life.”
“Web designer since birth.”

Spider Jokes: Eight-Legged Laughs You Can’t Escape

Classic Spider Jokes for All Ages

Whether you’re 9 or 90, these jokes about spiders will stick in your memory!

Why did the spider break up with the fly?
Because he found her too clingy!
What’s a spider’s favorite app?
The World Wide Web.
How do spiders communicate?
Through web chats!
Why are spiders great at networking?
They’re always working on their web connections.
Why did the spider go to school?
To improve his web skills!
What do you call a spider who just got married?
A new web!
Why don’t spiders get caught cheating?
Because they always cover their tracks in silk.

Spider Jokes for Adults (Keep It PG-13!)

For the grown-ups who love puns with a bit more bite, here’s a section just for you:

Why did the spider join Tinder?
He was tired of hanging out in the same old web.
How does a spider flirt?
“Hey girl, you caught me in your web of love.”
Why don’t spiders use dating apps?
They keep ghosting after the first entangle.
Ever been in a toxic web-lationship?
Ask a black widow.

Spider Web Puns to Stick in Your Brain

Clever Spider Web Wordplay

If you love web jokes, this section is for you. These spider web puns are spun to perfection.

I’m tangled in my feelings.
That idea really stuck!
Let’s tread carefully now.
Caught in a web of emotions.
You’re stuck with me now — literally.

Spiderman Puns (Because Spidey Deserves a Section)

For Marvel Fans — Spidey Puns You’ll Love

Are you team Peter Parker? Then get ready to laugh like you’ve just dodged a Green Goblin bomb.

I’m feeling a little Parker-ed out.
Call me Spidey, I’m swinging into this convo.
That joke hit me like a web-slinger!
I’ve got great spidey-sense… for humor.
Just hanging around like a true superhero.
That pun was MARVELous!

One-Liner Spider Puns for Quick Laughs

Spider Puns One Liners

Need quick bites? These spider pun one-liners are the snack-sized humor you need.

I web what I web.
Don’t bug me — I’m chilling in my silk robe.
Arachnids: proof that eight legs are better than two.
Caught feelings… and flies.
Silk happens.
Spinning my problems away.

Cute Spider Puns That Won’t Scare Anyone

Sweet and Funny Spider Sayings

Let’s face it, not all spiders are scary. Some are downright adorable. These cute spider puns are perfect for kids, cards, and Halloween treats:

You’re spidey-licious!
Web, you be mine?
You’re my favorite little web-slinger.
I’m just a little tangled in love!
You spin me right round, baby.

Frequently Asked Questions

Find answers to commonly asked questions about Spider
puns

Are spider puns kid-friendly?

Absolutely! Most spider jokes are clean, clever, and easy for kids to understand. Just avoid the darker ones meant for adult humor.

Can I use spider puns for Halloween cards?

Totally! Try something like “You’ve been caught in my web!” or “Have a fang-tastic Halloween!”

What’s a good pun for a spider-themed blog or username?

Try names like WebStar, Arachnobabble, Spinderella, or CaughtYouLaughing.

Are there puns related to spider bites?

Sure! Try:

1. That joke had a serious bite.

2. I’m not venomous, just pun-omenal.

3.Bitten by the pun bug (literally).

How do I make a spider joke more creative?

Combine everyday words with spider-related ones: “Arachn-attack of the puns!”, “Spidey-verse of comedy”, or “Webbing through a pun-derful day.”

Funny Website Jokes (Yes, Web Developers Count Too)

When Spider Webs Meet the Internet

Whether you’re a coder or just love irony, here are some web-tastic jokes:

Why did the spider become a web designer?
Because he had mad skills!
I asked my spider friend to help debug my site — now everything’s sticky.
My website crashed — turns out it was infested with spiders.
Spider devs don’t use JavaScript. They use silk-screen.

Bonus: The Funniest Spider of All Time?

Let’s settle it — who’s the funniest spider ever?

Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web — poetic and clever!
Lucas the Spider — adorable and meme-worthy!
Peter Parker — pun king and superhero!
Miss Spider from Sunny Patch Friends — too wholesome to be scary.

Drop your favorite in the comments — or better yet, create your own spider character!

Conclusion: Stay Tangled in the Laughter

We hope you’ve been caught in a web of fun — and didn’t mind the eight-legged tickles along the way. Whether you’re spinning some laughs for Halloween, cracking up your group chat, or adding zing to your social captions, these spider puns and jokes are sure to stick.

If this article bugged you (in the best way), share it with your pun-loving friends and keep the laughter rolling!

💬 What’s your favorite spider pun or joke? Drop it in the comments below — we’re dying to web it into our next list!